The Divine Play of Light and Shadow
This is for a Sweet and Dear One, I shall call The Love Warrior (Troy…that would be You). It is lonely here and I know it well. I will tell you a story of redemption and Cosmic Love. Get cozy and warm and We begin:
I lived in an Abusive Marriage for 13 years. He was Handsome and more Worldly than I. The abuse begin immediately after we were marriage and continued for all of the 13 years, we were together. We had two children within 3 years and I stayed home with them until my little guy was 7.
I knew that I needed to get back to work and that I would need to be able to support myself and my children. He was drinking more and getting more angry as time went on. He came to hate me for my very Nature of being Happy and Positive. He worked tirelessly to deflate that on all levels. I withdrew more and more.
There came a day and I stood up which was not allowed. I came to that place of knowing it was done….I was done and even if he killed me….it would be better and so I stood up. He was so angry that I saw a part of him that I had never seen. I had taken the Power back and he was shocked and surprised. He left and returned later that day to pack a bag and to tell me that I would greatly regret it and so on….you get the drift.
He walked out the door and never looked back. He never helped with any financial or parental support. I think rejection was not something he could deal with.
I was a single parent for 8 years. I loved it. I got back to work and loved it. I excelled. I ran the soft operations for a small software training company and travels all over the US marketing my little heart out. I was happy! Happy to be alone and to be me. As the Marketing Manger for this small training company, we bought and built training for the Computer market…IBM PC and the Apple Products. I so fell in love with the Lisa (Precursor to the Macintosh)….that I went to work at Apple.
I had no regrets other than seeing him going downhill. He was drinking heavily and he finally quite his job to run a bar where he could drink day and night.
I resigned myself to be alone. I have always had a Shakti quality that brought attention from Men. It was never a good energy aspect and I came to know I never wanted that type of relationship ever again. I was happy to be alone and to be me. I felt my heart sadden that I would never know a Sacred Relationship in Divine Union with Source.
I blossomed. I allowed my Spirit to lead the way and all began to unfold. We were members of the Catholic Church and it was a sweet Church and Community that was our extended family. I embraced the goodness and the heart of that community. I never judged it for there was no need. At the same time….I followed my knowing….my intuitive Self. I was in a Christian Bookstore and I bought 5 books by Claire Prophet. She was the I AM Avatar spokesperson at that time. I never questioned…I just knew this was knowledge I knew and would use….familiar as my Self.
The Father of my Children continued to decline until he was consuming a fifth of vodka a day. You don’t last long once you arrive at this place. We had an uneasy peace that we had maintained and I could say we had arrived at some place where friendship existed. I filed for Divorce.
My children were in college and thriving and we received news that their Father was dying. His organs were shutting down. We traveled together to see him. No one wanted to sit with him and so I did. I took him on a tour of the Cosmos and told him who Krishna was and what the Shiva/Shakti Sacred Dance was. I showed him the Love of the Cosmic Mother. I stayed with him long after he had passed. On our drive home, he came in Roaring like a Lion that now he Got it and that he wanted say he liked it. He was joyful and thanked me. I cried.
And so it is. All things are meant to be and all aspects of Life are Sacred. The Divine Play bringing us the Light and Shadow of ourselves to observe and to release ever finding ourselves made New in this Now. He was Divine and He was Hurt. We forgive Ourselves as We forgive Others.
I met my better half (My partner, my teacher and my Husband) at Apple. He came to build a database for my group and we worked closely together. We became friends. He taught me TM (Transcendental Meditation). He was the kindest person, I had ever met. The first time I saw him….I knew him. He was the most beautiful Man that I had ever seen. Not in a physical sense but in an Energy sense. He sparkled and he smiled like the Sun. He has been my Sun and Moon and all the Stars in my Life forever now and how many times have we been together….a few and this time We will be getting it Done.
Don’t ever give up, Troy…..it will come!
And so it is.
You are the One and We are One in the Unity of Christ Consciousness.
Victory of the Light.
Luminara El An Ra